Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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