she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
