New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We are all done wearing pants today
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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