Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
