Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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