so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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