It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
