ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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