bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
