I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
