i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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