who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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