If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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