you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize