do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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