Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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