I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
