He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
