also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
