office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
