She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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