69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
