Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
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