was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Randomize
