When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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