I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
