So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
