Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
