You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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