i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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