I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
