There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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