Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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