Soap is not a condiment
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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