even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
