11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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