There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
