i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
