Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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