I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
