That's when you crack a 10am beer
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
