Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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