So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
