you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
