great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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