A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize