Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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