yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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