you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize