Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
