Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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