I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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