you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
