stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
