my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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