1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
