My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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