Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
