My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
