Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
